I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
