dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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