can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
whose parrot is this?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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