Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
