i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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