she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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