bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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