The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
