I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
