We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
a search helicopter?!
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
