My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize