I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
