My friends, they love my intelligence
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
