Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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