I want to stick my p in your. b.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I believe in your delicious
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize