Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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