I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize