do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
