i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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