Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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