As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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