just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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