is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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