i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
