Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
