Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
