I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
