so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
