Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
