I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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