he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
