she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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