i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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