how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
