i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
jump out the window naked night went bad
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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