how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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