hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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