sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
