No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
