He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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