I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
My hand turned me down
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize