i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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