i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
