i just had sex bonerless
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
