My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
