Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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