i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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