He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
