I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my sisters under your porch take her home
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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