Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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