I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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