They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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