So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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