Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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