it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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