I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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