Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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